The Last Decent Man
by wildhoneychild
Summary: Rick Grimes is having an ethical dilemma of sorts. Set in season 3. Rick/Beth (Brick!)
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys, this is my first fanfic in quite a while and I'm pretty rusty! I've had it sitting in my drafts for a long time and recently decided to bring it back to life. :) This is set in season 3 in the prison, after Lori's death but before they encounter the Governor. Oh, and the title is from Emily Kinney's song "Last Chance". Yeah, hope you like it - feel free to leave some reviews if you feel inclined! Thanks.

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He didn't know what it was about her, but she was magnetic. There was something captivating in her sweet little smile tucked behind golden hair, her lilting voice that sang softly when she thought no one was around to hear, the way her hips moved as she paced back and forth through, rocking Judy to sleep. She commanded his attention without realizing it.

 _She's fucking seventeen, for Christ's sake._

Rick had just recently started to come back to his senses, shake off the ghosts that had been plaguing him after Lori's death. Although they were already estranged, her sudden death had been devastating to him. He couldn't even look at Judith for weeks without breaking down. If Beth hadn't been there to pick up the pieces and take over in the midst of the chaos, Rick didn't know how any of them would have made it.

Beth Greene. The sweet, dreamy farmer's daughter full of unyielding hope and optimism. She haunted his thoughts more than he cared to admit. During the day, it was easy for him to busy himself with whatever needed to be done to maintain the prison - and there was always something. But at night, alone in his cell, he closed his eyes and thoughts of her often crept in - the sound of her laughter, the color of her bright eyes, the scent of her lavender shampoo ...

Since his group had first met the Greene family, he'd always regarded her and her sister Maggie fondly, but innocuously. Despite his separation from Lori, it had never crossed his mind to look at another woman in the same way - not that he'd even had time to stop and think about finding romance. But one day, after things started settling down, she'd caught his attention as she sat alone on the prison stairs, holding a sleeping Judith tenderly and leaning down to plant a kiss on her forehead. He stood there watching the two thoughtfully, and she looked up and smiled, locking eyes with him. Rick's heart swelled for the first time in a very long time, and right then, it was like he'd seen Beth for the first time. Since that moment, she hadn't quite left his mind, no matter how much he tried to shut down the thoughts and treat her as a kid, as just another member of the group.

Rick was sitting by himself in the prison cafeteria, pensively staring at his bowl of cereal with powdered milk, gripping a plastic spoon in his calloused hands and absentmindedly stirring his cornflakes. His thoughts wandered, and he didn't notice the clicking of boots behind him.

"G'morning."

Startled, Rick turned around to see Beth approaching him with a shy smile, Judith gurgling in her arms. He didn't quite know what to say back, suddenly dumbstruck.

"Good…. good morning," he finally mumbled in return. He stroked Judith's cheek with his thumb, still finding it difficult to fully embrace her. It was too soon, too painful, the way he could see Lori's features mimicked perfectly in her tiny face.

"Little girl here is an early riser. Guess she wanted to see what was goin' on. I fed her already, now I guess we're gonna take a walk and go sight-seeing." Beth chuckled and patted Judith's back. "Just wanted to let her see her daddy for a bit, and make sure you were okay."

He gave a noncommittal shrug in response. "I'm alright."

It suddenly dawned on Rick that Beth had been his daughter's main caretaker (and yes, she was his daughter, no matter what) from the time she was born. The others fawned over her and helped feed and change her, but they all simply seemed to have more pressing matters at hand. Yet she'd been a constant presence. "Beth," he asked carefully, "did anyone ask you to look after Judy?"

She looked a bit surprised by the question. "Well, no, but I… I love kids, I'm good with 'em, I figured this is how I could help out the most." She paused. "Why, do you… not want me to?"

"No!" he replied instantly, regretting the question. "No, that's not what I meant, I just… wanted to thank you. You didn't have to do all this, is all. It's awful selfless of you."

Beth peered at him curiously. "Rick, you saved my daddy's life. You've kept my family going, you've done so much for us. Let me return the favor." She reached out and touched his shoulder, a fond gesture that send a shock down his arm and made him flinch in surprise. She let it linger there for a second, and his heart pounded as he stared at her small, pale hand.

 _What the fuck are you thinking?!_

He was a fucking cop! Not that anyone would be around to take away his badge, obviously - and seventeen was still legal in Georgia. But the glaring fact of her age, and the tarnished wedding band he still wore, made Rick feel shameful in the pit of his stomach. Not to mention that he was sure her father could still kick his ass with his one good leg. He felt guilt wash over him, and tried to think of anything else.

"Yeah, well," he grunted, shrugging her hand off and avoiding eye contact. "It's fine. Just think a seventeen year old shouldn't have to care for a fussy baby all day, that's all. I'm sure there are others who could take her off your hands sometimes."

"We've all got jobs to do, and this is mine. This is the best place for me."

Beth paused as a thought crossed her mind. "You know, Rick," she began, taking a step closer to him, and he looked up at her. She leaned in slightly, mouth close to his ear, and he felt his face quickly grow hot. "I'll be eighteen soon. My birthday's just a couple weeks away, if that calendar I've kept is right."

The way she said it wasn't entirely suggestive, but her husky tone implied that it wasn't entirely innocent either, at least not how he interpreted it. His breath caught in his throat and he just stammered in response like a fucking kid. She just grinned and walked away, humming and bouncing Judith on her hip. He just watched her until she disappeared from view, unable to avert his eyes, finally exhaling through his teeth and feeling his blood rush to his head. _Goddammit._

Rick Grimes was one hundred percent sure that he was officially going to hell.


	2. Chapter 2

The noises of bustling footsteps and chatter echoed through the hallway, as the prison began to come to life to start the day. The unmistakable sound of Maggie's laughter in the distance reached Beth's ears as she slowly gained consciousness. Then the curtain to her cell was pulled back and light flooded in obtrusively. Beth instinctively threw a hand over her eyes.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" Maggie greeted cheerfully.

Beth just groaned in response. She opened one eye to see her sister standing there with Glenn in tow. He gave her a half-wave. "Is it morning already?"

"Yep! Time to get up!"

Normally Beth was an early riser. All of the Greene children had been brought up to wake up at the crack of dawn to help their parents on the farm before school, and it was a habit that sort of stuck with her even though there were no longer any cows to milk or chickens to feed. But the night before had been restless, as Judith kept waking up crying, and Beth had to pace around the prison, rocking her back to sleep more than once.

Still, Beth just nodded as Maggie closed the curtain and walked away. She pushed herself out of the bunk with a yawn and groggily rose to her feet. The first thing she did every morning was open her notebook and mark down the date. She wasn't sure why she still did it, or whether it even mattered anymore, but it gave her a sense of normalcy. _September fourth_ , she jotted down. Nineteen days until her birthday.

It was hard to believe that just two years ago, she'd been having a normal birthday party in a normal world. For her sixteenth birthday, the house was filled with all of her family and closest friends. Her boyfriend Jimmy had been by her side the whole night, holding her hand and staring at her like a lovesick puppy, earning them both teasing nudges from Maggie and Shawn. Beth was treated to an enthusiastic rendition of Happy Birthday, blew out the candles on her favorite carrot cake, and opened gifts while her mother snapped away on the camera. At the end of the night, her parents presented her with a brand new acoustic guitar, after she'd hounded them for months about getting lessons. She fell asleep that night with a smile on her face, sure that this birthday couldn't be topped.

She was right. By the time the next year rolled around, both Shawn and her mother were gone and the world had fallen to shambles.

Her sixteenth birthday felt like a lifetime ago. Beth knew that her life had once been different, but she found it hard to remember. It just felt so strange that her biggest concerns had once been biology tests and homecoming dresses, rather than day-to-day survival.

Beth began to get dressed for the day. She rifled around in her cubbies for a clean blouse and a pair of jeans. These days, pretty much all of her clothing had tears or stains from sweat, blood, and spit-up. Still, she always tried to make do and look as presentable as she could - probably the normalcy thing, she guessed. She found her mama's old pearl earrings on the nightstand, and fastened them, before brushing and braiding her long blond hair. She pulled on her socks and boots, grabbed her toothbrush, and headed to the bathroom.

As she walked, she recalled the other day in the cafeteria when she'd told Rick she was turning eighteen. It was mostly just intended as a matter-of-fact statement, really. He'd mentioned her age and she'd just informed him. Simple. But she knew that there were underlying connotations. And it had been fun to watch Rick squirm.

She couldn't deny that she found Rick disarmingly handsome. For as long as she'd known him, Beth had harbored a crush that only grew stronger with time. But she always felt a little bad about it - he was a married man. Something had changed between him and Lori, sure, there was tension and distance, but the ring on his finger remained. And then... she was gone, and he'd lost himself for a bit. Beth was concerned and wanted to help, but didn't know how. So she did her part by looking after his children.

Now Rick was slowly recovering and Beth wasn't quite sure how to tactfully hit on a grieving widower. For that matter, she was positive that a decent man like Rick Grimes would never reciprocate the feelings of a silly teenage girl like her. So she tried to keep her feelings under control and resign herself to the idea that it was a fantasy that would never come to fruition.

When Beth finished brushing her teeth, she stared at her reflection in the mirror and smiled. _Today is going to be a good day,_ she told herself.

She'd always considered herself lucky, since her parents had taught her the importance of gratitude and optimism. Even after things fell apart, Annette would grab her family members and say, "We're so lucky we still have each other." Then one day, she and Shawn were bitten, and they turned. Her daddy insisted that they were just sick, and that the Army would come soon to fix everything, and they'd be cured. Maggie insisted privately that their father was just in denial, but Beth wanted to believe him. Then her mother nearly sank her teeth into Beth before being put down, and it hit her at once that they weren't coming back and the world would not be getting better.

The realization drove her to a failed suicide attempt, but she ultimately decided to keep going. In times like these, she felt that optimism was essential - it was the only way to keep living and fighting. And she did feel lucky, despite the losses and constant danger they experienced. She was still alive. She still had her father and sister. She had a group of people who cared for each other. She had food to eat, and a safe place to live. She had Judith.

She had Rick.

Beth left the bathroom and continued walking down the empty hallway until she reached the room where Judith's makeshift crib was kept. Carl was sitting on a bench nearby, holding his baby sister and feeding her from a bottle.

She approached him and silently put her hand on his back as an expression of comfort. Carl looked up, his face stoic. Beth knew he was still in mourning for his mother, but he tried hard to be strong. He'd brushed off her attempts to get him to talk about it, so she didn't push, hoping that the day would come when he would be ready to open up.

Carl carefully passed Judith off to Beth, and put the bottle back in her mouth. "Make sure you hold it up like this," he mentioned, showing her the right angle. "Otherwise she drinks too fast and gets gassy." She didn't know how a thirteen-year-old boy knew the first thing about caring for an infant, but figured he must have been taught by Carol, who occasionally watched Judith when Beth was busy.

Beth gave him a nod and a smile, and he left. She was alone with her thoughts and the baby once more.

There had never been any formal assignment of roles. Nobody had ever sat her down and told her that she was in charge of taking care of Judith. It was a responsibility she'd assumed for herself. Although she helped out as much as she could with other tasks around the prison, she knew she wasn't as strong or as fast or as good of a shooter as some of the others. This, she figured, was how she could contribute while the others worked to keep the prison safe.

It was easy to get frustrated and wallow in the unfairness of the world. But her daddy had always said that everyone had a job to do, and Beth knew that she had a little girl who needed her. That's just how it was. Besides, the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes were worth it when, every so often, the infant looked up at her and cooed with happy recognition. Those moments were what made her keep living.

 _Today is going to be a good day._


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys. I've had more free time lately so I'm slowly getting back into updating my stories. Sorry about leaving you hanging. Please bear with me as I try to chip away at my writer's block :) As always, feedback is appreciated! Thanks!

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After feeling the ache in his muscles and the sting of sunburned skin on the back of his neck, the only thing that echoed through Rick's tired mind was how it had been a long day.

He had been up since dawn, after being woken up by the muffled sound of Carl crying in his sleep in the adjacent cell. It tore him up to know his son was suffering, but he didn't know how to comfort him. Rick was just beginning to pull himself together after Lori's death, and if he ever tried to bring it up with Carl, he was met with a stony-faced scowl and his son storming off. Carl had put up a wall around himself, becoming withdrawn and sullen, and Rick didn't know how to get past it. For that, he felt like the worst father in the world.

After that, he couldn't get back to sleep, even after Carl's whimpers had subsided. He got out of bed, got dressed, and quietly headed out of his cell. He checked on Carl and Judith, both sleeping soundly nearby, before walking out to the prison yard.

The sky was still dark and the air chilly, dew clinging to the overgrown grass. Guided by the moonlight, Rick continued on to the perimeters of the fence until he came face to face with a dozen snarling walkers. He stared at one, silently fuming, then yelled out in anger as he grabbed his knife and drove it into the walker's skull. It instantly went still, and he pulled it back out with some difficulty. The body fell to the ground, and he moved on to the next one, and continued until all of them were dead.

He took a moment to stop and breathe, crouching on his heels and rubbing his temples, before standing back up and sliding the gate open. He sighed heavily and then began to laboriously drag the heaviest walker several yards away, checking over his shoulder every few seconds to make sure nothing could sneak up on him. Once he'd finally brought it to an acceptable spot, he started the process over.

The sun began to rise in the horizon, and Rick's concentration was broken as Daryl approached him.

"Hey. What're you doin' out here?"

Rick stopped, wiping his dirty hands on his jeans. "Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd start taking out some of these walkers around the fence and piling 'em up to burn the bodies later."

Daryl looked at him, studying his face carefully. His eyes only lingered briefly, but the intention behind the look was perceptible. Rick knew that since his breakdown, everyone had been treating him a little differently, a little more delicately. They all looked at him like he was liable to snap at any moment. "Alright. Mind if I join ya?"

"Be my guest." Rick opened the gate enough for him to get through. "And what are _you_ doing out here?"

Daryl shrugged. "I ain't too heavy of a sleeper myself. I'm usually up pretty early, and I don't like stayin' inside that prison too long. Makes me feel trapped, I guess."

"Yeah, I get that," Rick agreed, nodding his head. It had taken him some time to get used to the living arrangements too, and he couldn't blame Daryl for refusing to sleep in a cell.

The two men worked in tandem without saying much. He knew that Daryl wasn't much of a talker, but he still felt at ease around him. They had grown somewhat closer in the last few months, and he knew that they had each other's backs. He would even call Daryl a friend and confidant.

As morning came, they could see and hear people moving about outside. Oscar and Axel, the two surviving inmates that they'd encountered at the prison, joined them. Rick had mistrusted them initially, but after Oscar saved Rick's life and it became clear that they wanted to prove themselves and earn their keep, they were gradually accepted into the group.

"Mornin', y'all," Axel cheerfully greeted. "Can we be of any assistance?"

"Ahh..." Rick thought for a moment. "You can go help out Glenn and Maggie, I think they were gonna try to secure one of the cell blocks today."

"Got it," Oscar affirmed. "Let us know if you need any help later on." He started heading back to the prison.

Axel, always a bit too eager and chatty, stayed for a minute. "Say, Daryl, like I said, I'm good with bikes, and I noticed your exhaust pipe was lookin' a little leaky. If you ever wanna take me up on that offer to fix it, I'd be happy to help..."

Daryl gave him a sideways glance and grunted, "Yeah, I'll let ya know", turning his back away from Axel.

"Alright," Axel replied with a smile, before jogging to catch up with Oscar. "Well, I'll catch ya later!"

As he left, Rick shot Daryl a disapproving look.

"What? That guy gets on my nerves. Kisses way too much ass."

"Be nice," Rick insisted. "He may be an ass-kisser, but he's harmless, and he's trying to help."

Daryl snorted and shrugged his shoulders before getting back to the task at hand. "Okay. Whatever."

The day went on and Rick was kept busy with various tasks around the prison. After burning the pile of walkers, he got to work fixing a hole in the fence. He checked in on Carol, keeping watch in the guard tower, and talked to Hershel, who was still recovering from his amputation, but wanted to discuss his plans for growing crops in the courtyard. While they were talking, Maggie entered the room.

"Oh, sorry to interrupt, is this a bad time?" Rick shook his head, so she proceeded. "Just wanted to tell you, Rick, that Judith is running a little low on diapers and formula. Glenn and I were lookin' through an old phone book and it had a listing for a Babies 'R' Us store about ten miles away. Figure it's worth a shot. We were gonna take the car tomorrow and check it out. Is there anything else you need us to look for?"

Rick gave Maggie a small smile. "No, don't think so. Thank you, Maggie. That's generous of you."

She smiled back reassuringly. "Of course. What about you, Daddy?"

Hershel shook his head. "No thanks, sweetheart. You two better be careful out there, you hear me?"

"You know I always am!" Maggie left the room, and Rick and Hershel wrapped up their discussion. Rick couldn't help but notice how protective Hershel was over his daughters, and felt a knot in his stomach as Beth's face flashed in his head. He forced himself to keep his mind off of her.

It was getting late in the day, so he decided to finish some more work before it got dark. They'd cleared out a good section of Cell Block B, and he busied himself with hauling the bodies outside until the sun began to set and he called it a day.

Now, preoccupied with thoughts of the progress that they'd made today and what still had to be done, Rick wiped the sweat from his brow and pulled open the door leading into one of the prison corridors. He wanted to grab some food from the sparse pantry, then head off to his cell to hopefully get a good night's sleep. It was still fairly early, but he was beat and wanted nothing more than to collapse onto his bed. He thought of how much hard work it was to be the de facto leader and keep everything running smoothly, as he strolled into the cafeteria.

He lifted his head and realized he'd stumbled upon Beth, facing away from him, cradling Judith and singing softly under her breath as she rocked her to sleep. Surprised, Rick took a few steps back and tried to avoid being seen. He watched the two of them from a distance and heard a familiar song.

 _Hush little baby, don't say a word... Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird..._

Rick felt his chest tighten up and hot tears prick the corners of his eyes, which he quickly wiped away with his thumb. He'd heard Lori sing that song to Carl a hundred times when he was a baby. Memories flooded back of him sitting by Carl's crib, Lori beside him humming contentedly, both gazing in awe at the little miracle they'd created. It was the happiest time in his life.

Now he was standing there, staring at the young dangerous girl and the infant whose eyes, he couldn't help but notice, were much darker than his, and he wanted to turn and run in the other direction. But then Beth suddenly stopped and looked over her shoulder, and he froze in place like a deer in headlights. It was too late to run away.

He couldn't keep running anymore.

"Hey, Rick." Beth's face was warm and friendly as she greeted him. "Funny how we keep meeting like this, huh?"

Rick shrugged, glancing at the floor. "Yeah. Funny."

There was a momentary silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, it was just calm and still. Rick took a few strides over toward Beth and shoved his hands in his pockets as he gazed fondly at Judy, then glanced back at her. He racked his brain for something to say. "Your birthday, when is it again?"

She smiled shyly. "September 23rd. Eleven days away."

"Well... We'll have to throw you a party."

Beth's face lit up in a sheepish grin, and she nudged him gently with her elbow. "I'd like to see that. Throw some party hats on, maybe make a cake from that dinosaur-age powdery stuff in the pantry... Very festive, Mr. Grimes."

Rick blushed and laughed a little too loudly, until he heard Judith fuss in her sleep for a moment and he lowered his voice to keep from waking her. "Well, I can't exactly promise you a new car, but we'll try to do somethin'. This is the first chance we've had to catch our breath in months, and Lord knows we could use an excuse to celebrate."

With a modest shrug, Beth murmured, "Oh, you're sweet, but you don't have to." Her mind wandered to what her 18th birthday would have been like in another time and place. She'd never much been the type for wild parties, usually preferring to stay home and enjoy the company of her family and friends. Of course the circumstances weren't ideal, but as she thought more about it, she realized that she didn't mind the idea of spending her birthday at the prison too much.

"Yeah, but I want to. It's the least I can do."

The two stood together quietly as the setting sun streamed through the windows of the cafeteria. Rick glanced at Beth and she looked back at him, her lips turning up in a serene smile. Rick felt his heart pound and he wanted to reach out and put his arm around her, but resisted the impulse. He looked over at Judith and felt a sense of peace wash over him. He realized he didn't care about the color of her eyes. He loved her fully, no matter what.

Then, Rick's gold wedding band glinted in the son and diverted his attention. Glancing at the ring on his finger, he was suddenly consumed with guilt and tore himself away from Beth. She looked at him curiously, and he avoided her gaze, when he saw something out of the corner of his eye that made him turn his head.

A pale female figure stood in the center of the cafeteria, wearing a flowing white gown, with long brown hair spilling over her shoulders. She said nothing, she just watched Beth and Rick.

Rick gasped painfully. "No!"

"Rick?" Beth set Judith down in her crib and tried to reach out for him, but he jerked away.

Lori had a forlorn look on her face. Her eyes were soft and sad, and her lips were pursed in a frown. Rick could feel her disappointment. He tried to walk over to her, but she was gone as quickly as she'd appeared. He covered his face with his hands as stinging tears rolled down his cheeks once again. He swiveled his head, desperately looking to see where she'd gone, but there was no sign of her.

Beth watched him in bewilderment, not knowing what to do or say. She peered around the room to see if she could see what Rick was looking for, but there was nothing. "Rick, are you okay?"

He didn't seem to hear her. He clenched his fists and hit a table once in frustration, then struggled to catch his breath. "I'm sorry!" he cried out despondently to no one in particular.

Finally, Beth rushed over to him and put her hand on his back. Alarmed, he looked at her, as if she'd broken him from a trance. He stared at Beth for a long moment, still breathing heavily, and seemed to begin to come back to reality. "Oh god," he groaned. "I'm sorry, Beth. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

He continued repeating himself, muttering miserably and shaking his head.

"Rick," she urged, "it's _okay._ Talk to me."

"No, no, no..." His voice trailed off, and he glanced back at her once more. "I'm sorry. I have to go." With that, Rick hurried out of the room, and Beth could do nothing but helplessly watch him leave.


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